Tami Roman swore she was accomplished with actuality TV.
In 1993, the 22-year-old aspiring singer was forged within the second season of “The Real World” and was central to its most memorable moments — together with an abortion documented by MTV cameras and a bodily altercation along with her roommate, David Edwards, that led to his departure from the collection.
Seventeen years later, as a divorced mother with two youngsters to assist, she returned to the medium in VH1’s “Basketball Wives” and later its spinoff, “Basketball Wives LA,” the place she spent nearly a decade expertly stoking the drama. Finally, in 2019, she kissed the style goodbye — for good, so she thought — to concentrate on appearing in initiatives just like the Apple TV+ collection “Truth Be Told,” the Lee Daniels-produced sitcom “The Ms. Pat Show” and her well-liked internet collection, “The Bonnet Chronicles.”
So when Paramount+ requested her to be part of “The Real World Homecoming: Los Angeles,” she stated no. Over and over once more. “I am not coming back. I am off reality TV, and I damn sure don’t want to do that with those people I ain’t talked to in 30 years,” she recalled in a current video chat. Then Roman’s producing associate, Jill Ramsey, put it one other manner: “She said, ‘Tami, this is where you started. Just go finish what you started.’ That’s when it clicked.”
In August, Roman and her roommates returned to the identical Venice Beach home they shared for six turbulent months throughout Bill Clinton’s first time period within the White House. There had been long-overdue conversations about race, physique picture and the blanket-dragging incident that resulted within the “Real World’s” first ejection — all documented in “The Real World Homecoming: Los Angeles,” now streaming on Paramount+.
Roman says the expertise was productive — to some extent. “I really learned that no matter where you are in life, you have to meet people where they are, and not everybody is upwardly mobile. Some people are still exactly where you left them.” But returning to communal living as a 51-year-old girl additionally had its drawbacks. “I couldn’t poop for two weeks,” she says with typical candor.
Roman — then generally known as Tami Akbar — was working at an HIV healthcare middle in West Hollywood and performing with an En Vogue-esque R&B lady group when a co-worker instructed her she’d auditioned for “The Real World.” Roman had by no means heard of the present however found a marathon that weekend on MTV. “People are on TV, just, like, living their lives? I didn’t even know that was a thing. And so I said, ‘Well, I could do that.’”
Using a cumbersome camcorder, she filmed an audition tape and delivered it, in individual, to the “Real World’s” manufacturing workplace, the place she was instructed the season had already been totally forged. “I stated, ‘Well, I’m not leaving until you look at my tape.’” The strong-arming worked: a few days later, producers Mary-Ellis Bunim and Jonathan Murray called to tell her she made the cut.
“She had charisma from the first time I met her. She had this amazing ability to be vulnerable and be completely honest about who she is. There was a confidence there that made her incredibly attractive,” said Murray, who was also compelled by her biography: Roman was raised by a single mom and had been homeless for a time, a fact that seemed to fuel her ambition. “There was just a sense that she was going to get what she wanted out of life.”
The cast that season was notable for its discordant array of strong-willed personalities, including Jon Brennan, a conservative Christian country singer from Kentucky, and Dominic Griffin, a spiky-haired Irish writer who drove cross-country in an RV with Roman. (“One of the things we learned from L.A. was that we had to make sure that the roommates had enough things in common to hold them together,” Murray says.)
Feisty and funny, Roman proved she was a born reality TV star before that was even a thing. In a landmark moment for television, “The Real World” documented Roman’s resolution to have an abortion. MTV cameras adopted her to and from the clinic the place she had her process and captured the principally considerate conversations she had along with her housemates, who held divergent views on abortion rights.
“I wasn’t necessarily trying to be the spokesperson for Roe v. Wade,” Roman says, “but I really wanted to show the emotional roller coaster that a person is on if they decide to make this decision.” Roman anticipated backlash however as a substitute obtained fan mail from grateful viewers — “women who had gone through the experience and felt like no one would understand,” she says.
In one other memorable second from the season, Edwards tried to drag a blanket off of Roman, who was mendacity in mattress sporting solely her underwear. What appeared to be a little bit of puerile late-night enjoyable rapidly went awry as Edwards dragged an rising upset Roman, clinging to the blanket and screaming for him to cease, down the corridor.
The three feminine forged members, together with Roman, concluded they didn’t really feel secure with Edwards in the home and, in a “Real World” first, he was kicked out. The scenario was deeply fraught: Some viewers believed Edwards, a Black man, was unfairly tarnished with an unsightly stereotype and bristled when housemate Beth Stolarczyk, a white girl, in contrast his habits to that of a rapist. Still others thought Edwards had clearly crossed a line, even when the altercation had begun playfully.
The controversial resolution is addressed within the first episode of “Homecoming,” and three many years later it’s clear the emotions stay uncooked — notably for Edwards, who says his comedy profession suffered as as outcome.
Roman is agency in her perception that when a girl says no, “it needs to be honored.” But she regrets the aftermath Edwards skilled and lays a number of the blame on herself for not disclosing sure traumas in her previous that contributed to her emotional response. “A lot of the story was missing, primarily because I wasn’t as open and as transparent as I should have been,” she says. What Roman didn’t share on the time was that she was a sexual abuse survivor. She additionally struggled intensely with detrimental physique picture. (In a very troubling episode of “The Real World,” Roman had her jaw wired shut to drop some pounds.)
“Body dysmorphia is something I was diagnosed with later on in life. I didn’t know that I had a disorder. What I knew was that I abused laxatives, I starved myself, I was throwing up food,” she says. Having a lot of her physique uncovered on digital camera was “the last thing I ever wanted to happen,” she explains. “David didn’t stop because he didn’t know what Tami was dealing with, in her own mind.”
Roman, whose current weight reduction has prompted concern from followers on social media, says she continues to be combating the demons. “When I think I look great, everybody else thinks I look like a crackhead,” she says. “Every day is a challenge for me to get up and go, ‘I love everything about myself.’”
Roman married NBA star Kenny Anderson shortly after filming “The Real World” and spent a lot of the subsequent seven years in wife-and-mom mode. After they divorced in 2001, she started to concentrate on getting movie and TV work. The “Basketball Wives” franchise, which she joined in 2010, supplied a gentle paycheck — and launched her to a complete new era of reality-TV viewers.
“The only thing I knew how to do was be myself,” Roman says. “And I feel like that’s always been my blessing and my curse.”
Though Roman started out as one of the show’s most reliable drama queens, she eventually grew tired of the contrived catfights, especially in later seasons, which coincided with the rise of Black Lives Matter across the country. “We had to be able to offer something of substance and value to the people watching. And when I saw that wasn’t happening, I said, ‘I don’t need to do this because I actually know how to act.’”
She returned to the audition trail and quickly scored roles in “Carl Webers’ The Family Business,” as well as “Truth Be Told,” where she plays Octavia Spencer’s stepmother. Acting opposite the Oscar-winner and Ron Cephas Jones in the series, which recently returned for a second season, is like “my very own private master class,” she says.
“I’ve been able to transcend [reality TV] because they only showed you a one-dimensional view of who I am,” says Roman, who is now married to former NFL player Reggie Youngblood. “I don’t walk around with boxing gloves on, I’m not cursing people out. And I like to think I’m pretty damn funny sometimes.”
Roman says she gets her drive from her mom, who died of cancer in 2013. “She wasn’t a touchy-feely type of mom, but she always provided. I feel like I’m the same way: All I know how to do is provide and work for my family.”
While still on “Basketball Wives,” Roman started sharing videos of herself wearing a bonnet and sounding off on whatever was on her mind, often between drags of a cigarette. This led to “The Bonnet Chronicles,” a popular Instagram account turned web series in which Roman, as her alter ego Petty Betty, rants about everything from ugly babies to people talking on Bluetooth in public.
A few years ago, Jordan E. Cooper, creator of “The Ms. Pat Show,” stumbled on a clip of Roman griping about grocery story chicken wings in an installment of “The Bonnet Chronicles” and was impressed with her natural comedic timing. When he began to devise “The Ms. Pat Show,” a sitcom that streams on BET+ and follows a formerly incarcerated comedian who lives in small-town Indiana, he wrote the role of Pat’s freeloading sister, Denise, with her voice in his head. At the time, Cooper knew nothing of her reality TV past.
“One thing I’ve learned about Tami is Tami is a hustler. She’s gonna go where the job is. And I think that those were just the opportunities that came along and she excelled at it. But I think that she’s finally coming to where she belongs,” he says of comedy, calling her a “master at taking language and twisting it to be funny.”
Kim Fields was also unaware of Roman’s reality résumé when she directed her in two episodes of “The Ms. Pat Show.” “I was like, OK, this chick has some chops,” she remembers thinking. She even asked a friend in New York theater if she’d heard of Roman. The friend’s response: “You mean Tami Roman from reality TV?”
As Fields would soon discover, Roman had actually trained with her mother, the acting coach Chip Fields, which may have accounted for their instant simpatico. “I grew up on the same thing. I was fed the same food,” says Fields, who also collaborated with Roman on the upcoming fashion-world drama “Vicious,” scheduled to premiere next year on the UrbanflixTV streaming service. As a former child star turned director, Fields says she admires Roman’s ability to evolve in an industry that tends to pigeonhole people.
“Whatever Tami Roman wants to do will be done. There’s no question in my mind about that. It’s just how, when, and how fly is her hair gonna be when the s— jumps.”
This story originally appeared in Los Angeles Times.