The Bachelor ’s Colton Underwood Reveals He Once Questioned His Sexuality After Years of Bullying

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Colton Underwood admits that watching Peter Weber‘s season of The Bachelor was a little bit difficult.” data-reactid=”12″>Colton Underwood admits that watching Peter Weber‘s season of The Bachelor was a little bit difficult.

“I had a little bit of PTSD,” Underwood, who was the Bachelor himself final 12 months, tells PEOPLE. “It brought up a lot of emotions.”

Cassie Randolph, was compelled to confront head on the deep-seated problems with insecurity and nervousness that had plagued him his complete life.” data-reactid=”14″>Indeed, his stint on the present was the primary time Underwood, who’s fortunately nonetheless collectively along with his choose, Cassie Randolph, was compelled to confront head on the deep-seated problems with insecurity and nervousness that had plagued him his complete life.

  • For extra from Colton Underwood, choose up this week’s subject of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday

The First Time (a nod to his doubtful reign because the so-called “virgin Bachelor“), Underwood, 28, opens up about taking management of his life — sincere and unashamed.” data-reactid=”17″>In his new guide, The First Time (a nod to his doubtful reign because the so-called “virgin Bachelor“), Underwood, 28, opens up about taking management of his life — sincere and unashamed.

“There are a lot of stories and experiences that will help people understand the choices I’ve made,” says Underwood. “And I’m done hiding who I really am.”

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The former soccer professional was in grade faculty within the small city of Washington, Illinois, when the bullying began.

“I was called fatso, four eyes and four lips, because I used to lick my lips, so I would constantly have a red ring around them,” says Underwood. “I was a little heavy, and that, combined with being socially awkward, led to a really hard time. I didn’t believe in myself. And I was super insecure.”

By highschool, the taunting turned much more private as a rumor circulated that Underwood, who credit his religion and values for why he selected to abstain from intercourse, was homosexual.

“It was one of those things where you hear something so often, you start believing it,” he says. “I thought, maybe I am gay. The captain of the football team should be having sex and drinking, right? But I wasn’t.”

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These emotions of uncertainty weren’t new for Underwood, who had searched on-line “Am I gay?” way back to grade faculty. “I didn’t know who I was,” he says. “And I come from an athletic family, so it was always, ‘Move on, you’re good.’ So that threw me off. In high school, when I was struggling with my sexuality, I’m not going to talk to my parents about it. So I internalized it.”

Olympic gymnast Aly Raisman. After they broke up, he signed up for Becca Kufrin’s season of The Bachelorette on a whim. Following a stint on Bachelor in Paradise, Underwood turned the Bachelor — and labored to lastly let go of the problems he’d had for therefore lengthy.” data-reactid=”58″>Ultimately, Underwood discovered consolation and safety in his first severe relationship, with Olympic gymnast Aly Raisman. After they broke up, he signed up for Becca Kufrin’s season of The Bachelorette on a whim. Following a stint on Bachelor in Paradise, Underwood turned the Bachelor — and labored to lastly let go of the problems he’d had for therefore lengthy.

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“Even while my season was airing, I battled the gay [rumors],” says Underwood. “They’d say, ‘he’s gay, he’s hiding it.’ No. But I’ve been there, done that now.”

recovers from COVID-19. “I want my life to be with Cassie. I know who I am. And that’s really all that matters.”” data-reactid=”79″>Most importantly, “I finally found somebody I really just want to be with,” says Underwood of Randolph, who’s caring for him as he recovers from COVID-19. “I want my life to be with Cassie. I know who I am. And that’s really all that matters.”

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